we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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