get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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