I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize