R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
