I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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