I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
