strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
