y did u give ur computer a hand job?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
