Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
