But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
