Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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