did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
