just come out here and I will go home with you...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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