I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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