I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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