i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
