can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
