Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
