At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
