it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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