Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
