Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
