I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
