no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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