ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
