I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
