is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
