did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
