Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
