Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
