Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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