Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
