yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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