Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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