saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I FOUND THE LEGS
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
