You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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