Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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