Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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