how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
