talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
