ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
