i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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