he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
the raccoons are back...
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