My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
