I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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