this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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