Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
