I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
