literally had 100 drinks last night.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
