i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
